"You must be punished by doing that!" he shouted at his boy. And whack! The poor boy got his hands slapped in an instant. What was the boy's crime? Sticking his bubble gum in the door of the men's CR.
I saw that father reprimanding his son who I guess is only five or six years old. And why do it in a mall where people can see your actions as a spectacle. I just don't understand how a parent could shame his child in public. Just like that! Did he really think he can get away with it?
I agree that the boy must learn a lesson here. But how can he learn if he is being judged guilty without due process? And I don't agree on using the term "punish" to your child. Let me explain why.
When I heard that daddy saying "you must be punished" I saw the boy's face turned red automatically and his facial expression became very fearful. Then all of a sudden without even being prepared for it, he got spanked at the wrong place at the wrong time for the wrong reason. He cried so hard and started looking at his daddy as if he's a stranger who hit him for the first time and as if he's so scary he makes him so fearful. The boy looked somewhere else, maybe trying to find an ally. But he couldn't find one. His daddy was not contented and fired some more. "That's your punishment for being bad!" Whoa! Does the child even know his crime?
Our mouth has the power of life and death the Bible says. What comes out of the mouth cannot be eaten back. What the mouth declares to someone has an impact. This mouth that tells our loved ones how much they are loved is the same mouth that curses them. It's a sad fact.
I pity the child so much. Up til now I feel for him. I have a child and I just want to declare good things and blessings on him. I don't wanna curse him, call him bad or something. And I will never use the term 'punish' on him whenever he does something different.
For a child, the word 'punish' is a negative word. I remember in a seminar by Rachel Ong when she said that negative words must be converted to positive ones in order to instill a positive aura in the child's being. Instead of saying that, why not just explain why an act is unnecessary. Or why not just use the word 'consequence' instead of the scary word 'punish'. Bombarding the child with negative vocabularies might make his self-esteem low. In a parenting seminar I attended years ago when I was still a college student, I still remember some rules in dealing with your child's bad actions. I don't even want to call it "bad" actions. Let's just call it unnecessary actions. I hope these will remind us that our children are God's children and He want's us to be good parents. I'm paraphrasing everything in the context of the story I just told you.
I don't want my child to see me as a stranger or as someone who instill the spirit of fear. I want my child to feel secure even in times of discipline. I hope you do too.
I saw that father reprimanding his son who I guess is only five or six years old. And why do it in a mall where people can see your actions as a spectacle. I just don't understand how a parent could shame his child in public. Just like that! Did he really think he can get away with it?
I agree that the boy must learn a lesson here. But how can he learn if he is being judged guilty without due process? And I don't agree on using the term "punish" to your child. Let me explain why.
When I heard that daddy saying "you must be punished" I saw the boy's face turned red automatically and his facial expression became very fearful. Then all of a sudden without even being prepared for it, he got spanked at the wrong place at the wrong time for the wrong reason. He cried so hard and started looking at his daddy as if he's a stranger who hit him for the first time and as if he's so scary he makes him so fearful. The boy looked somewhere else, maybe trying to find an ally. But he couldn't find one. His daddy was not contented and fired some more. "That's your punishment for being bad!" Whoa! Does the child even know his crime?
Our mouth has the power of life and death the Bible says. What comes out of the mouth cannot be eaten back. What the mouth declares to someone has an impact. This mouth that tells our loved ones how much they are loved is the same mouth that curses them. It's a sad fact.
I pity the child so much. Up til now I feel for him. I have a child and I just want to declare good things and blessings on him. I don't wanna curse him, call him bad or something. And I will never use the term 'punish' on him whenever he does something different.
For a child, the word 'punish' is a negative word. I remember in a seminar by Rachel Ong when she said that negative words must be converted to positive ones in order to instill a positive aura in the child's being. Instead of saying that, why not just explain why an act is unnecessary. Or why not just use the word 'consequence' instead of the scary word 'punish'. Bombarding the child with negative vocabularies might make his self-esteem low. In a parenting seminar I attended years ago when I was still a college student, I still remember some rules in dealing with your child's bad actions. I don't even want to call it "bad" actions. Let's just call it unnecessary actions. I hope these will remind us that our children are God's children and He want's us to be good parents. I'm paraphrasing everything in the context of the story I just told you.
- When your child sticks his bubble gum in the CR's door, get him somewhere private where no one can hear you.
- Let your child know why what he did is not pleasing.
- Tell him to throw the bubble in the thrash can next time.
- Let him know that action deserves spanking. And don't call him bad.
- You must be sure that your child understands everything before you spank him.
- Your child must be ready to be spanked.
- Your child must be the one to offer his hands for spanking.
- After the teary procedure, there must be restoration.
- Your child must know that you are not mad at him. You should not even spank him in your anger.
- You may opt to ask your child to forgive what you did but explain that you had to do it.
- Then hug him and express your love.
I don't want my child to see me as a stranger or as someone who instill the spirit of fear. I want my child to feel secure even in times of discipline. I hope you do too.